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Assembly Rooms Fringe: Simon Hoggart

9 August 2013 Edinburgh

Someone put his microphone on the breast pocket of his jacket so that every time he turned to the audience to his left, his voice boomed out. And every time he turned to his right, he faded like a fogbound ship.

Someone shouted out for him to speak up and Mr Hoggart asked the technical people to help by turning up the volume, but that didn't work because the microphone was still not where it should have been.

Then he took to holding the little mic. And then everything was interrupted by clunks and banging noises.

And he started half an hour late because the show before ran over. But he didn't run over because there was a show following.

He looked sad and a bit confused.

He had not need, really: He spoke very well.

Let's see, what did he think.

He told some funny stories about Steve Bell and John Sargeant that showed them as good people with the right motivations.

And about the politicians, he started by saying that in the main they were honest and hardworking, but it was a pity they were limited in intelligence. OK, I can repeat that because it attacks a whole class - and it's obviously part truth and part joke.

But what about specifics?

He said:

A was unaware of her double entendres.

B was constantly bad tempered.

C was a vicious bitch.

D etc.

I am not going to gossip and repeat the names.

I see that not gossiping makes the job of a political commentator difficult.

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